One day my oldest daughter randomly decided to recite a list of relatives she’d met. It went something like this:
“Gramma Joyce”: that’s daddy’s mommy
“Granny”: that’s mommy’s mommy
“Papa”: that’s daddy’s daddy
“Ummm . . . wait, ” “mommy, where is your daddy?”
My husband and I laughed.
The reality is, I was raised in a single parent home. My children will probably never be in the same room as their maternal grandfather.
The blessing is, they noticed!
When Gabrielle asked me where is my daddy, it did not make me sad. It made me joyful and proud that she realized that someone was missing. For the “norm” in my girl’s experience to be having a relationship with both their mommy and their daddy is an answered prayer.
That was certainly not the “norm” in my experience growing up, so this moment made me smile. That question was a beautiful display of God’s redemption and His ability to make all things work together for good to them who love God.
If you consider the details of my life, the math just does not add up. Children from single-parent homes are less likely to go to college. I went. We are more likely to bear children out of wedlock ourselves. I didn’t. We are more likely to seek out unhealthy relationships to fill the void created by our parent’s absence. That’s not my story.
That’s the kind of God we serve.
1 Corinthians 2:9 says, “For no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived the wonderful things that God has prepared for those that love Him.”
My mother could have chosen to wallow in the woes of single parenthood. Instead, she chose love as she assumed her responsibilities as a parent, regardless of what direction someone else chose to take. I could have chosen to wallow in the woes of being a fatherless child. Instead, I made up my mind to capitalize on all the love and support that was present as I made certain lifestyle choices that would minimize the likelihood that I would repeat the pattern. I chose love over bitterness. Love over a victim mentality. Love over vengeance. And look what He did!
We all have a story. We all have aspects of our lives that did not go as planned or as desired. And . . . we all have a choice. We can wallow in the woes of it all, or we can make up our minds to capitalize on love. That love will guide us as we make certain lifestyle choices that will minimize the likelihood that we will repeat the pattern.
God blessed you with another breath and, therefore, another chance to accept His grace and His mercy. Whether you are the “single parent,” the “missing parent,” or the “fatherless child,” remember this: There is no mistake or sin that God cannot forgive and redeem. You are still loved.
Loving Him will put you on the other side of whatever obstacle you are facing. Loving Him will make the improbable a reality. Loving Him will make you look back on a situation that should have made you sad, but instead made you smile.
Where is my daddy? I’ll tell you where he is. He is somewhere being loved by his Creator. And so are you. Go ahead and choose to love Him back.
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